I had a breast enlargement when I was 19 which I really regret now. Looking back I know now that I wasn’t small, I was a B cup and it suited my frame but I was obsessed with them being too small and ugly. The boys at school were constantly bringing in clippings from the sun and sport of topless girls and that was my only reference point for the naked female body and I didn’t look like that. I felt ashamed, boys would try to grab me or ask me about my breasts and I would go bright red, knowing that they knew I wasn’t big breasted and I was being taken the mick out of. I used to stuff my bra with socks, all my friends did too, we all grew up with the only boobs we ever saw being porno boobs. We all felt like ugly aliens and not normal. Another of my friends has also had a boob job, I think the rest of my friends would get them too if they could afford it. My breast enlargement had complications and I had to have corrective surgery twice in two years, I have bigger breasts now but lots of scars and my confidence hasn’t changed. Growing up a bit I have realised that women do not look like page 3 girls in real life, that my body was completely normal for a teenage girl, but I think it might be too late and the damage is already done. I am angry at myself for putting myself in such a dangerous and life threatening position and getting surgery because of something as stupid as seeing page 3 pictures everyday at school and not wanting a boy to look at me and be disappointed when I didn’t look like that. Now when I say to people that I have had a boob job they look at me like I’m a shallow bimbo, I’m not shallow at all, I feel like I was indoctrinated as a teen to feel unhappy with my body against my will and that my personality wasn’t strong enough and my self esteem wasn’t strong enough to resist what seemed like the only solution. I wish I had never had it done now. But I know that if I hadn’t I would still be as tortured as I did back then. I feel like it is a no win situation.